One of the practices at Cafe Gratitude is to celebrate our mistakes.  This did not come easily for me at first.  In home economics class in 7th grade, and I accidentally spilled flour on the floor.  I remember feeling so ashamed.  I wanted to hide it from the teacher, so I ground it into the carpet with my foot.  She caught me doing this, and the glare I got in return was enough to keep me feeling ashamed about my mistakes for the rest of my life.  That is, until I came to Cafe Gratitude.  

Employees of Cafe Gratitude are trained to say "I made a mistake!"  This proclamation is met with cheers and applause.  "Yea!!!!!"  The next part is that we tell the manager (if they haven't already heard the cheering).  Then we have a conversation about what we learned from this and how we can prevent making that same mistake again.  But the key part and important first step is simple: acknowledge the mistake.  Claim it.  Own it.  This was tough for me.  Even though I knew better, the junior high student part of me still expected to get a glare and some kind of punishment.  

The first mistake I recall making at Cafe Gratitude was a simple one: I dropped (and broke) a glass.  I was out on the patio (in San Rafael) alone and could have possibly gotten by with keeping my mistake a secret.  It was an important step in my "recovery" (from hiding mistakes) process to say out loud "I made a mistake!" and tell a manager what happened.  That kind soul simply asked me what I could do differently next time.  It was easy for me to think clearly about this, since I was not clouded by shame.  I was clear and able to focus on a creative solution.  I felt so much freedom in this.

Valentina came from Germany finding us through  Jason Mraz and attended our weekend workshop. Valentina's enthusiasm for life and genuine courage and openness inspired us all and we urged her to talk about her experience through our blog.  Meet Valentina:  a beautiful shining spirit causing her life in Germany.

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I was always the caretaker, tending to the needs of everyone else. It was very difficult for me to do or buy things for myself, I always felt guilty. I had been taught that it is better to give than to receive. I was over 50 before I ever went on a real vacation. I just couldn't spend the money or imagine what I would do. I knew I would feel guilty if I went somewhere without my children and how could I afford to take them? I kept myself busy with work, busy with providing for us. My work defined me, created what I saw as my value. I couldn't imagine spending idle days, doing what? Then Matthew took me to Hawaii and I found myself swimming in warm sea water and simply relaxing, allowing the Aloha spirit to sink in, for the first time in my adult life. It was wonderful and confronting.

I began to realize that when I let someone else contribute to me, I am actually giving them the gift of giving. Again I had to practice this way of giving so that I could learn that it is valuable to allow others to give just as it is also great to receive. I have received a lot in the past several years and this has made a huge difference for me, I had to push past guilty thoughts that I was unworthy, undeserving or would be indebted.  I have learned to love to give and receive. 

Today I invite you to take responsibility.  Taking responsibility is one of the most powerful acts that one can do.  If all of us took responsibility for not only our own emotions, filters, actions, speech and listening but for how we come across and interact with the planet, then the planet would be in such bigger more careful hands.  By taking responsibility we own up to our impact on every aspect of the universe, take note of our steps and our causation of the world.  In taking responsibility we own up to our power and speak from the first person:  "I am responsible for global warming", "I am responsible for inspiring my family," and "I am responsible for the war in Iraq".

I can rightfully say that I have an impact in all of these areas.  If I own up to the enormous impact that I can have on these areas, then I can see that power that I have in how things are going.  Consider that you are like a fish in a river with a rushing current bouncing across rocks and bending downstream.  You might not be actively swimming, but the current is carrying you.  There is no sitting still in this world.  Life is always moving.  If you can see and take responsibility for having been carried by the stream, then we can recommit to where you want this river to be moving!