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The Self Examiner

Sharing is very important to us at Cafe Gratitude. This blog is our means of connecting with you, our community through sharing what's happening with us and creating a conversation around the many facets of this community.
Tags >> money
karin

The Slow Money gathering aims to fix the economy from the ground up, one small food enterprise at a time.  At a time when the big business in town is a struggling stock market, disgraced investment bankers, and a market overrun with poisonous factory-farm produce – the Slow Money Gathering is bringing to bear a new kind of investing.  They call it natural capital, farmer capital, social capital, local capital, nurture capital & cheese capital (why not?).

In the last two years, the gathering has hosted more than 1000 people form 24 states, and more than $4.25 million dollars have been invested in 16 of the presenting small food enterprises.  The event has also given rise to local chapters, who have begun investing around the country.


matthew

In 1984 I was 28, married and had two young children.  I was a carpenter by default and my experience was we had no money.  I remember wanting to go to the movies one night and scrounging for lost change in the sofa cushions.  On my father's 70th birthday, my family missed the celebration.  I had neither a car that would make the five-hour trip nor the money to rent one.  While I longed for more material security, i rationalized my circumstances as the result of my Spiritual focus.  I believed that Spirit and matter were irreconcilable.  I "chose" the Spiritual life.  I was sure money and God were not compatible.  I couldn't see that one aspect of my belief system was a smoke screen for playing it safe and avoiding failure in something I termed the "real world."

Life's current began revealing to me that material abundance and my spiritual values were not exclusive.  I joined a group studying "A Course in Miracles" and in the session I declared that I would "make" $10,000 in the month of September, I wrote my promise on a piece of paper.  It was April and I had never made even one-fifth that amount in any given month.  Soon my declaration was forgotten.  In August a commercial roofing job came to my attention.  The job was way beyond my skills requiring specialized equipment and training.  I bid it without any experience and without a clue of how I would get it done.  I received the contract, subcontracted commercial roofers, and profited $10,000 in September.  It was a month later I remembered my written declaration and awakened to the connection between my word and my world.

 


Heather M.M.

 

This weekend I attended The Abounding River, a workshop taught in a pay-it-forward style by the creators of Cafe Gratitude: Matthew and Terces Engelhart. I had flipped through and purchased the Logbook (which the work shop is based off of) so I kind of had a sense of what I was in for. I was excited that I would be exploring my self-worth, my relationship to money, and saying positive “I Am” mantras in the Cafe Gratitude style. What I did not expect was that I would leave with a much stronger sense of courageousness in my heart, a beautiful new ring (I will explain more about that later), and the option to take on a whole new view of my life.

The workshop started Saturday morning. I snuck in quietly though the back door as a room of friendly people turned their heads to gaze at the sound of the creaking hinge. I managed to find a seat and the workshop began with us all introducing ourselves. Matthew and Terces sat up front and shared “Ok, so to start with this morning, We’d like for you to all share your name and one thing you are uncomfortable with sharing about your relationship to money”. Wow, I thought, as the source of my most embarrassing money secret instantly came careening to the front of my mind. I tried to think of anything else to share that wasn’t so embarrassing. As I thought, I listened. In the moments prior to my arrival, Matthew and Terces had created an environment of trust.

Many people around me were openly sharing their versions of their own money nightmares: some people couldn’t stop worrying about saving enough money or paying their bills on time while others couldn’t stop spending and were deeply indebted to friends, family, and banks. Finally it was my turn and the atmosphere of integrity couldn't stop the words from coming out of my mouth: “What I’m most embarrassed by is that I am still supported by my parents and I’m terrified of the notion that I will have to support myself one day”. Silence met my ears and it was over. I felt a sense of relief. My fears were on par with everyone else’s, even if the ideas that led to them were different: Now I know I’m not the only one with major fears around money.

The major perspective that is shared in this workshop is that money is inherently neutral: it is our own personal blocks that create our relationship troubles with it. We worked with partners to look at money from multiple perspectives and unveil what our subconscious ideas around money really look like. One example of this was thinking of our relationship to money as a friendship or romantic relationship and then answering questions like “Do you expect me to make you happy?” and “Is our relationship security to you?” The implications of our responses were profound. Most of us had terrible relationships. We worked to come to see how our perspectives could be different, Matthew and Terces were empowering us to take responsibility for our relationships.

Around lunch time we got an invitation to do a homework assignment: “During lunch we would like you to give something away- whether it is money- like a higher tip than usual to your waitress- or an item. We’d like you to give it to someone who is not in the workshop, to someone who has no idea why they are receiving from you then come back and report your findings to us after lunch”. I left having no idea what I was going to give- or how. I had no cash on me but I left it open.

I went to lunch with some of the participants at Gracias Madre- Cafe Gratitude’s sister vegan Mexican restaurant. I was sitting, happy to be out and exited to connect with some of the other participants on a more casual level. As I sat down at the family style dining table, there was a beautiful woman across from me wearing a lovely rose quartz and silver ring. I could tell it was a beloved belonging so I complimented her on it. I was looking for a connection to her and I had no idea how deep it was going to get. She looked at me and she said “you like this ring?” and I replied “yes its beautiful” she then preceded to take it off her finger and hand it to me, “its yours now”. Yes, she wasn't following the protocol of the assignment, she knew clearly that I was in the workshop with her, but she said she felt particularly attached to the ring and had been inspired to give it up, make it into an offering.

I felt honored and had some trouble receiving it. I had only wanted to connect with her and being gifted was a challenge to me.  I called my own self worth into question. I was encouraged to accept and receive the gift. The ring is still on my finger now as I write this, its a beautiful reminder that life goes on, with or without our most prized possessions and that sometimes life really does deliver unexpected gifts.

On my way back to the workshop I realized I had nearly forgotten to give my gift. I reached into my bag and found my BART (bay area rapid transit) ticket. It had enough on there to get someone somewhere. I wanted to give to someone who clearly wasn’t in need- I wanted to prank someone with my gift: sometimes giving without reason is joyous and hilarious. I ran up to a girl my age putting gas in her tank and handed her the public transport card. “I want you to have this” I said. Surprisingly, without any skepticism, she said “thank you” and accepted it. I could learn a thing or two from her.

When we arrived back Matthew and Terces encouraged people to share their stories. I learned so much from hearing the people around me speak about their experiences. There were a few hilarious stories.  I heard one participant in the workshop who had given his money to someone on the street and said to him “spend it well”.  Apparently the person didn’t take kindly to the statement and replied “excuse me sir but do I tell you what to do with your money?”. It was a sweet anecdote that I felt pointed to a much larger relationship that the man had with money: needing to feel in control of where it went. We all laughed and took in the lessons everyone had to share.

We moved on to more exercises and talked about reconstructing our perception of debt. One woman shared her fear around debt from investments in music equipment. Terces shared “try to consider that you have been blessed with the gifts of what you were asking for and now the world is asking you to step into your gifts by creating wealth from the instruments you have received”. This was a revolutionary way of looking at the concept to me: Having debt comes from a place of having been abundant enough in the first place to have received what you were asking for AND you can choose to see it as a calling to create more abundance. How empowering.

We closed out the day with a final homework assignment: “Notice how abundant you already are and come back tomorrow to share your findings with us”. My mind was already calculating millions of anwsers: clean water, social services, friendship, health... We walked around the room sharing information and hugs and finally the day ended and  I was offered a ride back to my home.

I would love to share with you about my second day and beyond, but if I do this blog post might turn into a novel. This workshop has been a blessing and has left me feeling more capable and abundant than ever before. What is even more amazing is that this is just one of several workshops offered throughout the year  by Matthew and Terces at a Pay it Forward rate. People who are interested in supporting the benefits of workshops like these are encouraged to donate a limitless amount while people who are experiencing a financial challenge are encouraged to pay what they can: even if that doesn’t come in the form of cash. I am so grateful for all of the gifts I have received this weekend and I am paying my abundant feeling forward by trying on this new view of life and passing it on to others: A view of being provided for.

Click here to see a list of upcoming workshops.

 


bill

Money Can't Buy Everything by Static-PrevailsEarly this evening a young gentleman I don't recall seeing before pops in the door and rather sheepishly asks if he might have a Grateful  Bowl, even though he has no money. 

I tell him, "Absolutely, that's what it's all about" (or something to that effect).  So I ring him up for a $5 Bowl and pull a 5 out of my pocket and put it in the drawer.  When I bring him his bowl, he is profusely grateful and strikes an interesting balance between ravaging and savoring his meal. 

While he's still eating, an older gentleman enters.  He also does not look familiar, and had just stepped in the door when he asked me if we did donations for schools, or something along those lines. I understood him to be asking for a donation, but I would soon realize the opposite.  Since I thought him to be asking FOR a donation, I went on to explain to him about our 2-plus year commitment to the community called the Grateful Bowl.  He seemed interested, and asked a few questions about how payment worked and a few other details. 


cheyenne

Post submitted by Anna Grace, our San Rafael General Manager:

"Do you all know, love and adore Bill Vogel, our shift leader at our San Rafael cafe?  I do, so much I can barely define it.  

Bill handed me his credit card & bought a $1,000 gift card with no employee discount.  Then he ordered 3 more cards, 2 for $500 & 1 for $200.  I rung up his credit card, and thank & acknowledge that this is $2,000 going into our thriving business' future.  He then handed me a $500 gift card & says... "This is for anyone that can not afford a Gratitude Bowl".
I said "You know what I get to do with this card Bill?  I get to ring up a $500 I Am Grateful Bowl." 
Essentially this is what evens out all those $1 Grateful Bowl contributions.  Not only did Bill tip the scale on the highest donation to the I Am Grateful Bowl yet & not only did he bump the cafe's sales up $500, he did it with the love & pure generosity that has a woman like me moved beyond tears, to the heart of the work that we do in the world. 
When you give freely, as we have with our I Am Grateful Bowl what we receive is beyond what we thought possible."





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