Consider for a minute that you are merely an organism on this planet. You are the result of every effect following another effect so far back that we cannot make out the fuzzy long distance image of what an original cause might have been. This moment you are experiencing right now is exactly what needs to happen and is what creates the moment you are experiencing now just seconds later. Imagine that there are countless timelines all moving forward and intersecting each other, with every person, every animal, every molecule experiencing a varied experience of the very same shared moment in history.

Life is so beautiful because of it’s diversity/difference and rich lush landscapes with one complex harmony of structures meeting another. The intricate network of nutrients in transit in the structure of a leaf sits against the cold lifeless concrete that’s been from the soil, to the factory, to the truck, laid down by a worker and has now seen thousands of these leaves live and die against it. When I slow down and think about the complexity of every object, every being, every aspect of my daily experience, I find that not only is the world inherently forever in motion and constantly changing but that each and every state of every thing is perfect.

This week, I would like to share with you about the experience of loss.  I have been very present to loss these last few weeks.  I’ve been noticing the faces of people on the street – thinking that I see someone I know, and startling myself back when they are not there.  I’ve been daydreaming and catching visions in the leaves, rolling my mind around times that have past.  I became aware, in those musings, that there would be a time when I would look back on today, on this present moment in my life, with the same longing that I feel now for other times.

“Impermanence is not a theory. It’s happening every moment.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

How did the rose

Ever open its heart

And give to this world

All it's beauty?

It felt the encouragement of Light

Against its being,

Otherwise,

We all remain

Too frightened.

- Hafiz

Some days I wonder how I will ever be able to fully offer to the world that which has been given to me.  I, like you, am gifted.  I know that if I were to open up, to sing my song to all who had ears to listen, I could heal the entire world, and set everything aflame with the primordial joy of being.

Yesterday I was cooped up in an office building all day, eyes glued to a computer screen. I told myself I would take breaks, and I did, but I didn’t take enough of them, and not the kind I needed. Getting some fresh air would have cleared my head, but when I get into the daze of a busy workday sometimes I forget to nurture myself. As it was, I emerged onto the Berkeley street at 5:00pm to a surprise - rain.  It had been summer-sunny all week and so the wet was startling, and--and this is interesting--almost immediately disappointing.
As I surveyed the soaked city street, negative thoughts streaked rapid-fire through my head: I don’t have rain gear!--I’m going to get soaked.--This is a terrible state of affairs.--Why didn’t I check the weather forecast?--It was stupid not to.--How will I make myself check the weather next time?--How will I get home right now?--Now I’m depressed.--Rain is depressing.--I shouldn’t have left sunny Santa Barbara.--I can’t live in Berkeley.
Holy smokes! A few drops of water had me questioning my longtime goal to live in the Bay! Notice how none of those thoughts--which all reverberated through my noggin in about a second and a half--were positive or uplifting. My ego, that chattering devil of the mind, had nothing good to say about the rain. But as I mounted my bike and began to brave the elements, I made a choice to flip a switch in my head. I was going to try an experiment--being grateful for the rain.
And I began to feel better, as these statements showed up in my consciousness: Rain nourishes the Earth.--This storm renews life.--I’m not too wet, and I’ll be inside, and dry, very soon.--This unexpected weather is exciting, different, fascinating.--The air smells so, so incredibly good.
I invite you to practice positive thinking in the face of the critical onslaught our minds are so good at creating. Next time you find yourself in a situation you can’t immediately change in a physical sense--maybe you’re wet, or cold, or crammed into a car for a long drive--acknowledge your outside circumstances, but then direct your attention to what you have to be grateful for, instead of only what’s going wrong. I could have focused on the discomfort of the droplets soaking through my clothes, but instead I put my attention on the invigorating aromas of a world thirsty for water.
You always have the power to notice and change your thoughts!

Last Wednesday was a very eventful day at Café Gratitude’s central office.  A few long-term computer issues came to a head, moved past the point of unworkable, and becoming what can only be called “Breakdowns.”

For the past year, we have been struggling with an issue where our Quickbooks imports corrupt our company file.  The cause of this problem has eluded us as we have tried solution after solution.  On Wednesday, we had a breakdown of this system that was big enough to put us completely offline, and force our bookkeeper to start writing checks by hand. However, this particular breakdown was so big, that our team was actually able to find the bug, and replicate it, and get to the bottom of what was causing the problem! The breakdown that had shut down one of our most important systems turned out to be the breakthrough that fixed what had been a perpetual problem.

It is an interesting time of year.  We call it Spring and yet it is unusual to have rain this late into the year, and it is unprecedented for the Vacaville area to be this cold! So while the lettuce and kale love it, the peppers, melons and cucumbers are calling for warmer days along with the ripening cherry crop!

We still need campfires in the early morning and evenings, and yesterday and today kept it going all day long. Easter Baby chicks are now healthy young birds loving the out of doors. They have already been introduced to sprouts! A real treat for all our farm chickens. They LOVE the wheatgrass and sprout trays, and follow me wherever I go when they hear my little tractor and wagon coming their way. (They know sprouts are inside the wagon!)

Mulberries are on the trees but also need more sunshine to ripen. Our neighbors who have farmed here for over 40 years say they have never seen the weather as it is this year. So as farmer, we adjust, we trust and we let go.