This week, I would like to share with you about the experience of loss.  I have been very present to loss these last few weeks.  I’ve been noticing the faces of people on the street – thinking that I see someone I know, and startling myself back when they are not there.  I’ve been daydreaming and catching visions in the leaves, rolling my mind around times that have past.  I became aware, in those musings, that there would be a time when I would look back on today, on this present moment in my life, with the same longing that I feel now for other times.

“Impermanence is not a theory. It’s happening every moment.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Yesterday I was cooped up in an office building all day, eyes glued to a computer screen. I told myself I would take breaks, and I did, but I didn’t take enough of them, and not the kind I needed. Getting some fresh air would have cleared my head, but when I get into the daze of a busy workday sometimes I forget to nurture myself. As it was, I emerged onto the Berkeley street at 5:00pm to a surprise - rain.  It had been summer-sunny all week and so the wet was startling, and--and this is interesting--almost immediately disappointing.
As I surveyed the soaked city street, negative thoughts streaked rapid-fire through my head: I don’t have rain gear!--I’m going to get soaked.--This is a terrible state of affairs.--Why didn’t I check the weather forecast?--It was stupid not to.--How will I make myself check the weather next time?--How will I get home right now?--Now I’m depressed.--Rain is depressing.--I shouldn’t have left sunny Santa Barbara.--I can’t live in Berkeley.
Holy smokes! A few drops of water had me questioning my longtime goal to live in the Bay! Notice how none of those thoughts--which all reverberated through my noggin in about a second and a half--were positive or uplifting. My ego, that chattering devil of the mind, had nothing good to say about the rain. But as I mounted my bike and began to brave the elements, I made a choice to flip a switch in my head. I was going to try an experiment--being grateful for the rain.
And I began to feel better, as these statements showed up in my consciousness: Rain nourishes the Earth.--This storm renews life.--I’m not too wet, and I’ll be inside, and dry, very soon.--This unexpected weather is exciting, different, fascinating.--The air smells so, so incredibly good.
I invite you to practice positive thinking in the face of the critical onslaught our minds are so good at creating. Next time you find yourself in a situation you can’t immediately change in a physical sense--maybe you’re wet, or cold, or crammed into a car for a long drive--acknowledge your outside circumstances, but then direct your attention to what you have to be grateful for, instead of only what’s going wrong. I could have focused on the discomfort of the droplets soaking through my clothes, but instead I put my attention on the invigorating aromas of a world thirsty for water.
You always have the power to notice and change your thoughts!

In the Abounding River Logbook, one of the six currents is creation. We say that active creativity is essential to achieving abundance. We must both actively create things in the world, and actively see and create a vision of abundance.  I access creativity through taking personal responsibility. I take responsibility for how I’m acting, what I’m producing, but also what I am actively creating and envisioning. I take responsibility for my vision of the world, and recognize that I can not only create a new vision, but recognize that I have been actively creating my vision of the world all along.

I created a design that was six years in the making that I made become my vision of the world. Out of my education and work in social justice, I envisioned an invasive tree that took too much from the soil. The tree represented the power structures and oppressive systems I wasn’t committed to. In my design (see second image) I created a tearing up of the tree through various metaphorical imagery (vines tugging down the branches, something rotting away the roots… branches being cut off). All of these metaphors I lived by- on how to deconstruct the tree that I saw as being damaging to the overall environment.

And deconstruction is how my life looked for 6 years. I used criticism against everything without much idea for how to instill hope or rebirth after the death of the system. I used various methods of social change to address problems that I saw, and constantly came across seeing that I was never bringing answers or solutions to them. My experience of the world was through that vision that I was actively creating and recreating.      Two weeks ago I really noticed that my tree metaphor wasn’t working for me to create hope. So I set off to find a new image, a rebirth of the tree, or something that I was committed to. I created the image above, the conclusion of the oppressive tree, and a new habitat for a rebirth. In my vision, the roots have been torn away to where all is left is love. Rooted in love, a new sprout is born and there is pure possibility.

As a means to re-train myself in my new vision, I’m taking on the 365 day challenge. Every day for the next year I am creating a piece of art with this new image. Every day through this creativity I am actively creating hope in the world by transforming my vision and by physically expressing my vision to others. I am day by day re-inscribing a new belief through my repeated creations.

The Idea for the practice of 365 projects came from Noah Scalin, who took on creating one image every day with a different medium himself, and then created a journal to encourage others. Check out the book here; check out some of the variations of my design here.              This week I invite you to look at what belief you have that’s causing you suffering. Taking responsibility for it as your creation and not truth is empowering. What can you actively create in its place? What belief can you adopt that serves you and serves the planet? We say that a belief is a thought practiced over and over again. What new thought can you begin with today?

The Slow Money gathering aims to fix the economy from the ground up, one small food enterprise at a time.  At a time when the big business in town is a struggling stock market, disgraced investment bankers, and a market overrun with poisonous factory-farm produce – the Slow Money Gathering is bringing to bear a new kind of investing.  They call it natural capital, farmer capital, social capital, local capital, nurture capital & cheese capital (why not?).

In the last two years, the gathering has hosted more than 1000 people form 24 states, and more than $4.25 million dollars have been invested in 16 of the presenting small food enterprises.  The event has also given rise to local chapters, who have begun investing around the country.

Last Wednesday was a very eventful day at Café Gratitude’s central office.  A few long-term computer issues came to a head, moved past the point of unworkable, and becoming what can only be called “Breakdowns.”

For the past year, we have been struggling with an issue where our Quickbooks imports corrupt our company file.  The cause of this problem has eluded us as we have tried solution after solution.  On Wednesday, we had a breakdown of this system that was big enough to put us completely offline, and force our bookkeeper to start writing checks by hand. However, this particular breakdown was so big, that our team was actually able to find the bug, and replicate it, and get to the bottom of what was causing the problem! The breakdown that had shut down one of our most important systems turned out to be the breakthrough that fixed what had been a perpetual problem.

Nine years ago I had the privilege to live with a family in Southern India for a month.  Within the first couple of days of being there, the father brought me to each of his friend and family member’s homes.  Each home welcomed me like no other welcome I’ve ever experienced.  Every new home I visited had strings of flowers, Rangoli (colored sand designs and messages) along the entrances and a Puja ceremony awaiting me.  

On my second day in India he brought me to a wedding of a friend of his.  The event was spectacular, with hundreds in attendance fully immersed in color, sweet fragrance and good wishes.  I learned that he did not know the couple all that well and I had the urge to stay in the periphery of the event (worried for my standing out and grabbing attention as the only Caucasian looking person there).  I tried not to attract attention, and allow the bride and groom to have full focus.  Despite my attempts to blend in, I was immediately brought up to the center of the celebration, and asked to partake in the ceremony with the couple on the stage.

I’ve learned that in Hinduism, the stranger is regarded as divine.  The visitor is welcomed not just as a passing stranger, but a welcomed and honored guest.  Strangers are our most unique relationships in that we can learn from them like no other.  Strangers allow us to open up our experience of the world, give us new perspective, opportunity.  Hindus believe that two of the most highly honored relationships in our lives are with strangers and our enemies.  From who else can you most be stretched, and get a glimpse of what you don't know you don't know?

Have you met frank?  Well, let me introduce you.  Frank Ferrante is a 58 year old Sicilian from Brooklyn; a lover of life, great food, beautiful women, and a good laugh.  Four years ago, he was also a drug addict, morbidly obese, pre-diabetic, and fighting Hepatitis C. He was estranged from his daughter, single, and struggling with depression. Frank knew that life could be better, and was looking for a way out.

When he walked into Cafe Gratitude and his server asked him, "What is one thing you want to do before you die?" he responded, "I want to fall in love one more time, but no one will love me looking the way I do."  That server, Ryland Engelhart, arming himself with a camera and a wide open heart, enrolled his brother and his best friend in taking Frank on a transformational journey. The final agreement was made that for the next 42 days, Frank would turn his life over to three twenty-something young men committed to his healing and prepared to coach him physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Setting out to help Frank lose weight and get healthy, no one anticipated the profound impact this journey would have on the lives of countless others.  Through Frank’s story of love, redemption, and transformation, the viewers witness the power of change for themselves and the world.  To find out more about his journey, visit MayIBeFrankMovie.com

"In spite of the anxiety and uncertainty, I am so grateful to be alive and to participate in this adventure. I get to do my dream job; travel and emotionally connect with people. The Beatles were right, “ …and in the end. The love you take is equal to the love you make.” I plan to make as much as possible. "

Now, Frank is extending his invitation of love to you.  "Change Your Life" is Frank's first ever retreat, held at a spectacular Malibu mansion overlooking the sea. This 4 day intensive is an opportunity to "make over your self," and includes inspirational seminars with Frank, daily yoga sessions, gourmet raw catered meals, and a swimming pool and private beach.
 Fees for the retreat range from $1200 to $1500. When you call to register we will give you additional details on the available accommodations.

Anger is not my favorite emotion.  I do not consider myself an angry person, and I do not frequently experience anger in my life.  Situations that are uncomfortable for me usually elicit frustration, sadness, or hurt, before they ever touch the nerve of anger. 

I am beginning to realize, that even though I do not feel angry when people betray my personal standards of conduct, my anger does surface in other ways: silence, avoidance, and irritability.  I am beginning to consider that anger is actually on my side, and is trying to help me become more empowered in my relationships.  I push it down because of fear that it is not socially permissible, or that it will not be taken well.  Sometimes I am even afraid that if I let my anger out, it will simply be too much and run amok. 

Sometimes being with the upset of others is easy for me.  When my best friend, or my lover come to me, complaining, afraid and resistant, sometimes a soft smile will grace my face.  Of course, I’m not happy that they are upset, but I am able to stand and watch their stormy emotions, be present for their experience of fear and separation, and smile at the beautifully human experience that they get to have, and that they will watch me have some day.  I choose loving them unconditionally, and so I choose to be present for their upsets too.

With other people – coworkers, acquaintances, and friends’ partners - it can be more challenging to hold the seat of unconditional love. I think part of the challenge here comes from my ego trying to insist that, “I didn’t choose these people!”  Speaking from experience, I can say that it is much harder for me to be present for someone’s upset when I feel like I didn't choose them and want them to go away.

Today, I am practicing choosing people that are a stretch for me to love.  It allows me to accept my coworkers upset when I can see that I choose them to do my life’s work with.  I can be more patient with a friend’s partner when I see that I choose them, as a human being who is trying to live  in integrity and learn about love.  As for those acquaintances that I just want to go away?  Maybe I can choose them, choose being their friend, and in doing so choose the parts of me that are afraid to be left out.

"Forks Over Knives" follows the journey of several Americans as they move from lifetimes of eating mostly animal products and processed foods to a whole food plant-based diet, and the miraculous health results that follow.  Two scientists, Dr. Campell of Cornell University, and Dr. Esselstyn of the Cleveland Clinic, lead the way, sharing their research findings that illuminate the healthfulness of a plant-based diet, and it's ability to steer fork-eaters clear of cancer, heart disease, stroke, and diabetes. 

The film also touches on larger issues, including the morose diagnosis that given the healthfulness of most Americans, today's children may not reach the average age of their parent's generation.  So, our scientists start asking the big questions:

"Who will protect the public?"  Their answer: Not the government, not the American Dietetic association, not the insurance industry, or the pharmaceutical industry, nor the medical or food industries.  Perhaps only the public can protect the public, and armed with the information in this film, we might all learn how to live long and fruit-full lives.