One of the practices at Cafe Gratitude is to celebrate our mistakes.  This did not come easily for me at first.  In home economics class in 7th grade, and I accidentally spilled flour on the floor.  I remember feeling so ashamed.  I wanted to hide it from the teacher, so I ground it into the carpet with my foot.  She caught me doing this, and the glare I got in return was enough to keep me feeling ashamed about my mistakes for the rest of my life.  That is, until I came to Cafe Gratitude.  

Employees of Cafe Gratitude are trained to say "I made a mistake!"  This proclamation is met with cheers and applause.  "Yea!!!!!"  The next part is that we tell the manager (if they haven't already heard the cheering).  Then we have a conversation about what we learned from this and how we can prevent making that same mistake again.  But the key part and important first step is simple: acknowledge the mistake.  Claim it.  Own it.  This was tough for me.  Even though I knew better, the junior high student part of me still expected to get a glare and some kind of punishment.  

The first mistake I recall making at Cafe Gratitude was a simple one: I dropped (and broke) a glass.  I was out on the patio (in San Rafael) alone and could have possibly gotten by with keeping my mistake a secret.  It was an important step in my "recovery" (from hiding mistakes) process to say out loud "I made a mistake!" and tell a manager what happened.  That kind soul simply asked me what I could do differently next time.  It was easy for me to think clearly about this, since I was not clouded by shame.  I was clear and able to focus on a creative solution.  I felt so much freedom in this.

Lately, I am so present to how important it is for me to be in integrity and be a good role model for those coming up behind me. On this incredible spiritual path that I get to walk, I see how critical the integrity of the people who walked before me is.

I see them walking in such a good and powerful way.  I so appreciate all of the work they have done to be where they are.  I see how patient and loving they are with me when I take a tumble on my way.  They don't try to change me or fix me no matter what kind of fit I might be throwing.  They just stand strong, looking at me with love.  I receive so much inspiration and encouragement from that.  It gives me the opportunity to pull it in and remember my own strength and light.  And I get that me doing that inspires them in return. 

I didn't always have that.  It can be a challenging world to grow up in these days.  I came through some really painful times.  And I give thanks for the all of it.  I have the courage, we allhave the courage to look at those places where we struggle and where we have or have not received inspiration from others and really love on ourselves and have compassion with ourselves.  We all have the courage to take on really being in integrity with whatever path we're walking, with whatever practices and ways of being we are taking on.  That way we can look around us, with so much love and understanding in our hearts and eyes and inspire hope in the hearts of the young ones today and all of those around us.

Integrity is the system working.  Integrity shows the solid strength of a person, an organization, a container.  If integrity is out, it doesn't mean that there's something wrong.  There's nothing bad about being out of integrity, just as being in integrity doesn't necessarily mean that there's something right.  Integrity is just the system working as it is.  

Integrity will move in and out as organizations grow, or as projects move.  I see it being as natural as seasons and as beautiful and creative as our natural planet.  As integrity moves out (say, if staff come in late when we've made a commitment to being on time) then it's a creative moment for us to see the leak in the container and decide to recommit to coming in on time or create a new system that better matches what we're committed to.  If being your word is a source of power... being out of integrity is your ability to stretch and grow.  The trick is to not make yourself or the organization wrong when you are out of integrity.

Consider that we are constantly repeating ourselves to create a strong structure, that we are reminding ourselves and others whenever integrity is out.  One of my favorite theorists, Judith Butler explains how repetition creates an opening for choice and re-evaluation.  She uses the concept to describe how social norms are created and maintained as dissent comes up and the repetition of thoughts and beliefs re-attach what is created to be "normal" or "central".  In this, she explains, we have an opportunity to re-evaluate and envision various options:  just as we are about to repeat, we see the possibility of change.