Sometimes being with the upset of others is easy for me.  When my best friend, or my lover come to me, complaining, afraid and resistant, sometimes a soft smile will grace my face.  Of course, I’m not happy that they are upset, but I am able to stand and watch their stormy emotions, be present for their experience of fear and separation, and smile at the beautifully human experience that they get to have, and that they will watch me have some day.  I choose loving them unconditionally, and so I choose to be present for their upsets too.

With other people – coworkers, acquaintances, and friends’ partners - it can be more challenging to hold the seat of unconditional love. I think part of the challenge here comes from my ego trying to insist that, “I didn’t choose these people!”  Speaking from experience, I can say that it is much harder for me to be present for someone’s upset when I feel like I didn't choose them and want them to go away.

Today, I am practicing choosing people that are a stretch for me to love.  It allows me to accept my coworkers upset when I can see that I choose them to do my life’s work with.  I can be more patient with a friend’s partner when I see that I choose them, as a human being who is trying to live  in integrity and learn about love.  As for those acquaintances that I just want to go away?  Maybe I can choose them, choose being their friend, and in doing so choose the parts of me that are afraid to be left out.

Remember that time that you didn't have a job, and you spent every moment stressed out about making ends meet?  How about that time that you had a job and couldn't get over how miserable you were at work?  Have you ever hated being in a relationship... or hated not being in a relationship?  Have you ever been disappointed about not having more time off?  Or... have you ever had plenty of time off and still found something to be worried or sad or mad or annoyed about?
Yeah.  I have too.  And the longer I live, the more I realize that no matter what is going on in my life, there is always something that I can choose to be a grump about.  Whether it's a person or a place, too little of something, or too much of something, it seems as though my conscious mind is tireless in poking holes in the moment.  I just keep finding things to be stressed out, unhappy, and unclear about.
My prognosis?  I am a human, and so are you.  We are outfitted with the amazing machinery of a neurocortex that has the ability to imagine things that are not currently part of our experience.  And, we also have the gift of an ego that is trying, everyday, to keep us safe and secure and make sure we are provided for. How amazing!  There's just one thing...
These parts of our consciousness are running on an operating system of separation, which converts expressions of love into expressions of fear.  Here's an example:  "I love myself.  I want to take care of myself the best I can.  Taking care of myself means having enough (food, money, shelter).  I am afraid of not having enough.  If I don't have enough, I should feel anxious and scramble to get what I need.  If I do have enough, I should feel anxious and hoard what I have."
As you can see, our expression of love can easily be turned into fear and other negative emotions when we think that we are separate from others.  Now, let's see what happens when we upgrade to a oneness operating system: "I love myself.  I want to take care of myself the best I can.  Taking care of myself means having access to the things I need.  I am always being provided for by the Earth, my human family, the weather, the animals and plants.  I am not afraid of being without.  If I am without something I need, I ask for it, and it is given to me.  If I have enough, I give away what I do not need."
When I look at the way the ego creates separation, I am led to confess that all of those grumpy-making experiences I was talking about were instances where I let my ego turn my love into fear.  Fear of separation, abandonment, not having enough, not being loved, and, of course, the fear of death. I can accept that if I do the work to convert my experiences through the lens of oneness, I will experience joy, elation, trust, and love.
What have you been grumpy about?
Can you remember a time when you were grumpy about the opposite thing happening?
Where are you letting your ego turn love into fear?
What conversation would you be having if you were coming from a place of oneness?

Just as we can dread every moment of our lives, we can just as easily relish each moment of our lives.  This week I invite you to transform your experience of 'grump' to an experience of love!