The other day I was talking with a co-worker about how my roommate doesn't enjoy doing dishes. She lets dishes pile up without washing them for longer than I'd like. My co-worker sympathized.

The same co-worker shared that her roommate's dog has bladder control problems. The dog pees, unintentionally, all over the apartment. She even got diapers for the dog, and urine still sometimes leaks out of the diapers. It made my situation not seem so bad (see photo). I'd take dirty dishes over dog pee any day.

Moments after this discussion, I listened to a voice mail message from a customer. She was returning our call – from the Cafe Gratitude retail office – with an update on her address. The order she placed online for Cafe Gratitude retail didn't get to her; it got returned to our office. We didn't know why it got returned so we called her. After a few days she returned our call and left us the voice mail message that stopped me in my tracks. She explained that her apartment had burned down. That's why the order got sent back to us by UPS. There was simply no place to deliver it. So, the customer calmly gave us a new shipping address and confirmed that she still wanted the items she ordered. My stomach sank, and I felt guilty and ashamed for complaining about my roommate's dislike for washing dishes. My co-worker and I agreed that dog pee and dirty dishes didn't look so bad, compared to a burned-down apartment. It's all a matter of perspective.

We're going through lots of excited changes and shifts in the backstage of Cafe Gratitude, LLC.  We are moving into using new programs, changing how we manage our finances, and having challenging and inspiring conversations around sharing.  As we stretch and grow as a company we feel those stretch-marks building and lean into the discomfort more and more every day.  Last night at our manager meeting, Terces invited us all to keep the vibration high and the energy moving towards the greatness of all of these changes, no matter how challenging them might be.  Together, we are all taking on no complaining for 21 days.  

To take on this practice, start your commitment now.  If you witness yourself falling into referring to yourself as a victim, or diminishing of something/someone/someplace, then start over!  It's another 21 days until you've accomplished the commitment!  As Terces shared with us last night, complaints are not intended to further a project, they are meant to put in obstacles.  Complaints inhibit progress and function as a disabler.  When I complain, I know that I am taking myself out of the drivers seat to be the victim of the circumstance.  When I complain, I know that I am affirming that complaint- I am making my word create my reality, like an affirmation.  As Terces said last night, ideas and sharing is great, but feedback needs to support the progression of the team.  

I know that this is a longer commitment than a week in our usual "Invitations" on Mondays for the week!  This time I invite you to for the next 21 days starting NOW stop complaining.  See what unveils itself to you.  

I write this flying through the air, on a Boeing 737 aircraft, drinking a glass of white wine with the good company of strangers. 

I recently watched an interview with one of my favorite comedians, Louie CK who spoke about the incredible times that we live in.  As he says, everything’s amazing and nobody’s happy.  Watch the video here.  CK gives examples of situations like air travel and the wonders of technology where we can access a world wide web of information in a global sharing network at the tip of our fingers at all times; we can fly across the globe, seated comfortable in recline-able seats, served drinks and even access wifi internet connection.  We live in incredible times indeed.  What CK talks about in this interview though is our impatience with these marvels.  We’ve become callous to the wonders of science, our access to magical and incredible feats in human tool development.  I’ve seen myself and others go into complete rage over a delayed flight, or a phone working slowly. 

But here I am, shifting my attention from the cramped seating and squirming children next to me: I sit here on the plane with this mobile computer device (laptop) typing key by key to create my thoughts on a digital paper that I can send anywhere in the world in the blink of an eye.  I sit here looking down on the world from the sky, able to meet my friend in Baltimore just 5 hours from take-off and not 30 years of foot travel.  I am in complete amazement of the wonders that we live with today, and alarmed as to how we’ve fallen asleep to these miracles.  CK references our entitlement issues, our expectations and assumptions, which actually work against our better psychological health.  As an example, he references the upset of a fellow passenger on a plane who learned that there was wifi on the flight and then got angry learning that the wifi was slow.  I can see this mentality working across the United States and working against us.  Entitlement to me, is the opposite of gratitude.  Entitlement creates separation of the self from the world; it creates a story of exception and values of better-than/worse-than. Entitlement and questions of fairness lives in the world of scarcity- that there’s not enough.  Entitlement is a comparison story that always puts us against others, that crumples all generosity and puts us in the passenger seat- a victim of our circumstances.  This simultaneously puts us ahead of all others and sets us as inactive passive members of society.