Consider for a minute that you are merely an organism on this planet. You are the result of every effect following another effect so far back that we cannot make out the fuzzy long distance image of what an original cause might have been. This moment you are experiencing right now is exactly what needs to happen and is what creates the moment you are experiencing now just seconds later. Imagine that there are countless timelines all moving forward and intersecting each other, with every person, every animal, every molecule experiencing a varied experience of the very same shared moment in history.

Life is so beautiful because of it’s diversity/difference and rich lush landscapes with one complex harmony of structures meeting another. The intricate network of nutrients in transit in the structure of a leaf sits against the cold lifeless concrete that’s been from the soil, to the factory, to the truck, laid down by a worker and has now seen thousands of these leaves live and die against it. When I slow down and think about the complexity of every object, every being, every aspect of my daily experience, I find that not only is the world inherently forever in motion and constantly changing but that each and every state of every thing is perfect.

How did the rose

Ever open its heart

And give to this world

All it's beauty?

It felt the encouragement of Light

Against its being,

Otherwise,

We all remain

Too frightened.

- Hafiz

Some days I wonder how I will ever be able to fully offer to the world that which has been given to me.  I, like you, am gifted.  I know that if I were to open up, to sing my song to all who had ears to listen, I could heal the entire world, and set everything aflame with the primordial joy of being.

Last Wednesday was a very eventful day at Café Gratitude’s central office.  A few long-term computer issues came to a head, moved past the point of unworkable, and becoming what can only be called “Breakdowns.”

For the past year, we have been struggling with an issue where our Quickbooks imports corrupt our company file.  The cause of this problem has eluded us as we have tried solution after solution.  On Wednesday, we had a breakdown of this system that was big enough to put us completely offline, and force our bookkeeper to start writing checks by hand. However, this particular breakdown was so big, that our team was actually able to find the bug, and replicate it, and get to the bottom of what was causing the problem! The breakdown that had shut down one of our most important systems turned out to be the breakthrough that fixed what had been a perpetual problem.

The other day I was talking with a co-worker about how my roommate doesn't enjoy doing dishes. She lets dishes pile up without washing them for longer than I'd like. My co-worker sympathized.

The same co-worker shared that her roommate's dog has bladder control problems. The dog pees, unintentionally, all over the apartment. She even got diapers for the dog, and urine still sometimes leaks out of the diapers. It made my situation not seem so bad (see photo). I'd take dirty dishes over dog pee any day.

Moments after this discussion, I listened to a voice mail message from a customer. She was returning our call – from the Cafe Gratitude retail office – with an update on her address. The order she placed online for Cafe Gratitude retail didn't get to her; it got returned to our office. We didn't know why it got returned so we called her. After a few days she returned our call and left us the voice mail message that stopped me in my tracks. She explained that her apartment had burned down. That's why the order got sent back to us by UPS. There was simply no place to deliver it. So, the customer calmly gave us a new shipping address and confirmed that she still wanted the items she ordered. My stomach sank, and I felt guilty and ashamed for complaining about my roommate's dislike for washing dishes. My co-worker and I agreed that dog pee and dirty dishes didn't look so bad, compared to a burned-down apartment. It's all a matter of perspective.

One weekday morning as I biked from my house to the BART station to commute to work in San Francisco, I saw a man jogging on the path ahead of me. He was dressed in business attire and carried a brief case in his left hand. A man in business clothes jogging? Maybe he was running a little late to catch his train. Or maybe he was just trying to get a little exercise while on his way to work. My mind makes up all sorts of stories about people I see. What really caught my attention, however, was what he held in his right hand. It was a long white cane, and he was sweeping it ahead of him, feeling for the grass at the edge of the paved path. He was blind, or at least visually-impaired. I was filled with awe, and I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped. I did my usual call-out, "Bike on your left," and passed him carefully, all the while incredulous at his courage and fearlessness.

We all have fears about all sorts of things in life: fear of intimacy, fear of being hurt, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of death. I bet this man has those kinds of fears too. He's human, after all. But what impressed me is that he clearly seemed to have conquered a pretty basic fear of mine: the fear of pushing through the discomfort and doing whatever it takes to move forward in life – to move toward a more improved or evolved version of myself. The way I see it, he probably leaves that fear behind every time he picks up his cane and walks, let alone jogs.

I still think of that man and wonder what it's going to take for me to really let go of my fears – or simply push through them. Perhaps I can learn from him to pick up my cane and run.

We're going through lots of excited changes and shifts in the backstage of Cafe Gratitude, LLC.  We are moving into using new programs, changing how we manage our finances, and having challenging and inspiring conversations around sharing.  As we stretch and grow as a company we feel those stretch-marks building and lean into the discomfort more and more every day.  Last night at our manager meeting, Terces invited us all to keep the vibration high and the energy moving towards the greatness of all of these changes, no matter how challenging them might be.  Together, we are all taking on no complaining for 21 days.  

To take on this practice, start your commitment now.  If you witness yourself falling into referring to yourself as a victim, or diminishing of something/someone/someplace, then start over!  It's another 21 days until you've accomplished the commitment!  As Terces shared with us last night, complaints are not intended to further a project, they are meant to put in obstacles.  Complaints inhibit progress and function as a disabler.  When I complain, I know that I am taking myself out of the drivers seat to be the victim of the circumstance.  When I complain, I know that I am affirming that complaint- I am making my word create my reality, like an affirmation.  As Terces said last night, ideas and sharing is great, but feedback needs to support the progression of the team.  

I know that this is a longer commitment than a week in our usual "Invitations" on Mondays for the week!  This time I invite you to for the next 21 days starting NOW stop complaining.  See what unveils itself to you.  

Sometimes being with the upset of others is easy for me.  When my best friend, or my lover come to me, complaining, afraid and resistant, sometimes a soft smile will grace my face.  Of course, I’m not happy that they are upset, but I am able to stand and watch their stormy emotions, be present for their experience of fear and separation, and smile at the beautifully human experience that they get to have, and that they will watch me have some day.  I choose loving them unconditionally, and so I choose to be present for their upsets too.

With other people – coworkers, acquaintances, and friends’ partners - it can be more challenging to hold the seat of unconditional love. I think part of the challenge here comes from my ego trying to insist that, “I didn’t choose these people!”  Speaking from experience, I can say that it is much harder for me to be present for someone’s upset when I feel like I didn't choose them and want them to go away.

Today, I am practicing choosing people that are a stretch for me to love.  It allows me to accept my coworkers upset when I can see that I choose them to do my life’s work with.  I can be more patient with a friend’s partner when I see that I choose them, as a human being who is trying to live  in integrity and learn about love.  As for those acquaintances that I just want to go away?  Maybe I can choose them, choose being their friend, and in doing so choose the parts of me that are afraid to be left out.

Seven years ago today I was 19 years old and running away from a flirtatious and awkward 18 year old boy who wouldn't give up on me.  For months prior I kept giving hints that I wanted to be friends and nothing else.  I felt weird that he wasn't getting it, and I wasn't certain enough to outright tell him.  

We met online.  I was desperate for a roommate at the time and he thought that I was interesting.  I met him at my favorite smoothie/tea shop and he gave me my favorite movie on DVD (which he bought in preparation for our first meeting) before I even sat down.  He quickly became one of my best friends and we started working together dressing up as Lady Liberty and Uncle Sam for a tax company (which was far beyond his comfort zone, but allowed him to be close to me).  He obviously wasn't having a good time dressing up and waving at cars (something that I felt inspired about at the time).  We didn't have much in common.  I was a newfound feminist student activist; he was a programmer and gamer.  I was weary about dating him because I didn't see us having similar goals or even similar languages. I was the type of person that wore a prom dress made of duct tape.  He was the type of person who left high school out of disinterest.  

He made advances that pushed at the boundaries of friendship and I nervously rejected them, unsure of how such a relationship would work.  While sitting on the couch, he would reach for my hand or lean in for a kiss.  I didn't know how to react and so I didn't say anything and carefully avoided him in romantic settings.  I thought maybe something was wrong with him because I didn't understand why someone would be so intensely interested in me.