On Valentines Day it feels like others join us in our outward celebration of love. I remember when we first asked someone to take on promoting our book, Sacred Commerce, they agreed to do so but however requested we change or take out the word LOVE. After all, you couldn't really mix that with business! Well, we shared that without the LOVE it wouldn't be who we are or what we are up to.
For us the Sacred is LOVE.
Love of all.
“With whom in my life am I more committed to being right then being kind?”
Being right and being love can’t occupy the same space. I am considering that my insistence on being right is an addiction, and like any addiction, being right creates an alternative reality, an alternative to love. Wars are fought, families are destroyed, opportunities are squandered, friends are abandoned – all in the name of being right. Being right is a mainstay of the ego’s machinery. The Dalai Lama, whose religion is kindness, has lots of evidence for being right about the Chinese atrocities, but he doesn’t fall for the ego’s trickery. Being right and enlightenment are incompatible. His commitments are not sidetracked by the intoxication of righteousness. In “being right” I trade Divine Love for self-righteousness. Being right only creates positions. Someone’s on the attack, someone’s defending and justifying. When a relationship is caught in the bardo of attack-and-defend, the only way out is for either party to surrender, to relinquish their position, to be more invested in workability then divisiveness.
This week, I would like to share with you about the experience of loss. I have been very present to loss these last few weeks. I’ve been noticing the faces of people on the street – thinking that I see someone I know, and startling myself back when they are not there. I’ve been daydreaming and catching visions in the leaves, rolling my mind around times that have past. I became aware, in those musings, that there would be a time when I would look back on today, on this present moment in my life, with the same longing that I feel now for other times.
“Impermanence is not a theory. It’s happening every moment.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
“A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues.” – Cicero
Each year, Americans take one day to give thanks for all that we have in our lives. At Café Gratitude, we think that giving thanks is so important that we ask our employees, our customers, our vendors, and people driving behind us on the road to do it every single day. If you haven’t seen our bumper sticker before, it poses the question, “What are you grateful for?”
One of the things that you hear most about healthy relationships, families, and communities is that they are built on trust. Now, I have to admit, that this confuses me a little bit. I mean, what is this ‘Trust’ thing anyway? To find out more about how to cultivate trust, I did a bit of research. John Gottman, Ph.D. at the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley defines trust using the acronym ‘Attune’:
Are you surprised? I have to admit that I was. I grew up in a culture where having ‘trust’ in a relationship meant something straightforward, like having trust that someone is not ‘cheating’ on you, or trusting that they will show up when they said they would. Matthew and Terces seem to have a similar idea about trust in relationship. Here are some of the things that they are committed to:
As I reflect back on the beginning of my relationship, I remember writing the article below. It has been a year full or growth, wonder, love, amazement and diving deeper into my own awareness as a human being. I want to share this experience with you because before this moment I did not know what the possibilities of love could bring into my life. I thought I had an idea but until I shared this hug I hadn’t experienced it.
This is the key. To experience. To feel it in the body.
I am writing this as an elder in our community, and am thanking you in advance for listening with open hearts. My intention is to empower you and to take a stand.
I have read your letters and heard your requests in regards to Occupy Oakland's General Strike. I appreciate your passion, commitment and urgency. Here is what I would like for you to consider:
As individuals we have great freedom in standing up for what we believe in and support. We are free to take great risks and be responsible for whatever consequences there may be. We are free to make our choices. I celebrate this freedom.
"There is only one consciousness, equally distributed everywhere." - Ramana Maharshi
This year has been a year like no other in history. On Jan 25th, Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak was ousted from power following 18 days of unrelenting public protest. In August, Moammar Gadhafi's 42-year rule came to an end as Libyan rebels overtook Tripoli, after 6 months of civil war. Earthquakes and tornadoes have escalated to unforeseen severity, and the U.S. has seen the rise of the Occupy Wall Street movement in every major city, and met with the opposition of police forces in New York, Cleveland, Oakland, Denver, Atlanta, Nashville, and elsewhere.
How did the rose
Ever open its heart
And give to this world
All it's beauty?
It felt the encouragement of Light
Against its being,
Otherwise,
We all remain
Too frightened.
- Hafiz
Some days I wonder how I will ever be able to fully offer to the world that which has been given to me. I, like you, am gifted. I know that if I were to open up, to sing my song to all who had ears to listen, I could heal the entire world, and set everything aflame with the primordial joy of being.
I admit I have been pretty hard on myself for a few months for not being my authentic self. I have noticed myself reverting back to complaining and getting upset about my life’s circumstances and feeling stuck because of it. I moved back into my old habits of letting things happen and reacting to them. I have sat and wondered what happened to me? I was never this way or I thought I gave up being this way. This morning I woke up and forgave myself. I realized yesterday, with the support of a wonderful man, that I have been too hard on myself for actually just going through the transitions that everyone faces in life.