As an employee of Café Gratitude, I have a variety of feelings and thoughts on the closing of the company. Most of all, I am deeply saddened by the actions that brought it to this point. Yes, I grieve the loss of my job, but more importantly, I am grieving the loss of the company which has been so life-giving throughout the five years I have been an employee.

The staff meeting we had right after we found out about the company going out of business was full of emotions and questions. In the history of my time at Café Gratitude, staff meetings have always inspired me, and this day was no different. As I left the café that morning, I walked past the fire station. The fire fighters must have been doing some training or testing of the water because I saw a huge fountain of water spurting up in the air, the forceful fountain that can only come from a powerful hydrant. The kind of water that puts out fires. And I realize that's exactly what this feels like – a forest fire, burning everything in its path to the ground. In that moment, seeing the fountain of water in the early morning sun, I realized that anyone standing on the opposite side of it must have seen the biggest, brightest rainbow ever. I was sure of it. The wall of spray was so thick, and the sun was so bright, I was sure that the rainbow must have been glorious. I decided to go out of my way to simply catch a glimpse of that magnificent rainbow. Before I got there,

 though, the water spray stopped. I had missed my chance. But even just thinking about that rainbow and how beautiful it must have been put a smile on my face that lasted for several minutes. That's how powerful imagination is. The rainbow that day gave me hope.

This week, I would like to share with you about the experience of loss.  I have been very present to loss these last few weeks.  I’ve been noticing the faces of people on the street – thinking that I see someone I know, and startling myself back when they are not there.  I’ve been daydreaming and catching visions in the leaves, rolling my mind around times that have past.  I became aware, in those musings, that there would be a time when I would look back on today, on this present moment in my life, with the same longing that I feel now for other times.

“Impermanence is not a theory. It’s happening every moment.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues.” – Cicero

Each year, Americans take one day to give thanks for all that we have in our lives.  At Café Gratitude, we think that giving thanks is so important that we ask our employees, our customers, our vendors, and people driving behind us on the road to do it every single day.  If you haven’t seen our bumper sticker before, it poses the question, “What are you grateful for?”

One of the things that you hear most about healthy relationships, families, and communities is that they are built on trust.  Now, I have to admit, that this confuses me a little bit.  I mean, what is this ‘Trust’ thing anyway? To find out more about how to cultivate trust, I did a bit of research.  John Gottman, Ph.D. at the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley defines trust using the acronym ‘Attune’:

•  Awareness of your partner’s emotion;
•  Turning toward the emotion;
•  Tolerance of two different viewpoints;
•  trying to Understanding your partner;
•  Non-defensive responses to your partner;
•  and responding with Empathy.

Are you surprised?  I have to admit that I was.  I grew up in a culture where having ‘trust’ in a relationship meant something straightforward, like having trust that someone is not ‘cheating’ on you, or trusting that they will show up when they said they would.  Matthew and Terces seem to have a similar idea about trust in relationship.  Here are some of the things that they are committed to:

Anne Kubitsky has a vision.  In a country with a tanking economy, a discouraging political situation, and escalating national protests, she has become a leader in the awakening of gratitude.  The ‘Look For The Good Project’ is a community art project that encourages people (like you!) to share little bits of what they are grateful for, via postcard, in an online art gallery.

“Why not offer people a chance to pause and reflect on something that

In recent weeks, I have found myself wishing for a resolution of the violence in the world.  I have wished that both the police and protestors at the occupy encampments across the nation could find a way to practice non-violence in their actions.  I have often wished that economists, politicians, and those in academia would practice non-violence in their suppositions, beliefs, and attitudes.  And, like many of you, I have wished that the people around me (close friends, family, people next to me on the bus) could practice non-violence day to day in their interactions.

Last Wednesday was a very eventful day at Café Gratitude’s central office.  A few long-term computer issues came to a head, moved past the point of unworkable, and becoming what can only be called “Breakdowns.”

For the past year, we have been struggling with an issue where our Quickbooks imports corrupt our company file.  The cause of this problem has eluded us as we have tried solution after solution.  On Wednesday, we had a breakdown of this system that was big enough to put us completely offline, and force our bookkeeper to start writing checks by hand. However, this particular breakdown was so big, that our team was actually able to find the bug, and replicate it, and get to the bottom of what was causing the problem! The breakdown that had shut down one of our most important systems turned out to be the breakthrough that fixed what had been a perpetual problem.

There's a worm addicted to eating grape leaves.

Suddenly, he wakes up,

call it grace, whatever, something

Do you ever worry about someone you love?  I certainly do.  Sometimes I worry about myself, that my own future will not turn out the way I have planned it.  Other times, I worry about friends of mine, who seem to be making bad decisions and heading down the wrong roads.  In the past, I have worried about lovers leaving me, or not loving me the way I love them.  And just recently, I noticed that I also worry about my family, and dread that some of them might die before I get to spend more time with them.

The other day I was talking with a co-worker about how my roommate doesn't enjoy doing dishes. She lets dishes pile up without washing them for longer than I'd like. My co-worker sympathized.

The same co-worker shared that her roommate's dog has bladder control problems. The dog pees, unintentionally, all over the apartment. She even got diapers for the dog, and urine still sometimes leaks out of the diapers. It made my situation not seem so bad (see photo). I'd take dirty dishes over dog pee any day.

Moments after this discussion, I listened to a voice mail message from a customer. She was returning our call – from the Cafe Gratitude retail office – with an update on her address. The order she placed online for Cafe Gratitude retail didn't get to her; it got returned to our office. We didn't know why it got returned so we called her. After a few days she returned our call and left us the voice mail message that stopped me in my tracks. She explained that her apartment had burned down. That's why the order got sent back to us by UPS. There was simply no place to deliver it. So, the customer calmly gave us a new shipping address and confirmed that she still wanted the items she ordered. My stomach sank, and I felt guilty and ashamed for complaining about my roommate's dislike for washing dishes. My co-worker and I agreed that dog pee and dirty dishes didn't look so bad, compared to a burned-down apartment. It's all a matter of perspective.