In recent weeks, I have found myself wishing for a resolution of the violence in the world.  I have wished that both the police and protestors at the occupy encampments across the nation could find a way to practice non-violence in their actions.  I have often wished that economists, politicians, and those in academia would practice non-violence in their suppositions, beliefs, and attitudes.  And, like many of you, I have wished that the people around me (close friends, family, people next to me on the bus) could practice non-violence day to day in their interactions.

One of the practices at Cafe Gratitude is to celebrate our mistakes.  This did not come easily for me at first.  In home economics class in 7th grade, and I accidentally spilled flour on the floor.  I remember feeling so ashamed.  I wanted to hide it from the teacher, so I ground it into the carpet with my foot.  She caught me doing this, and the glare I got in return was enough to keep me feeling ashamed about my mistakes for the rest of my life.  That is, until I came to Cafe Gratitude.  

Employees of Cafe Gratitude are trained to say "I made a mistake!"  This proclamation is met with cheers and applause.  "Yea!!!!!"  The next part is that we tell the manager (if they haven't already heard the cheering).  Then we have a conversation about what we learned from this and how we can prevent making that same mistake again.  But the key part and important first step is simple: acknowledge the mistake.  Claim it.  Own it.  This was tough for me.  Even though I knew better, the junior high student part of me still expected to get a glare and some kind of punishment.  

The first mistake I recall making at Cafe Gratitude was a simple one: I dropped (and broke) a glass.  I was out on the patio (in San Rafael) alone and could have possibly gotten by with keeping my mistake a secret.  It was an important step in my "recovery" (from hiding mistakes) process to say out loud "I made a mistake!" and tell a manager what happened.  That kind soul simply asked me what I could do differently next time.  It was easy for me to think clearly about this, since I was not clouded by shame.  I was clear and able to focus on a creative solution.  I felt so much freedom in this.

This week I encourage you to be courageously transparent.  Consider that we create walls surrounding our authentic selves in fear of not being loved.  As Matthew Engelhart says, all we are ever really saying is “love me” or “I love you”.  I’m beginning to notice that most of us are so caught up in ourselves, trying to conceal parts of ourselves in fear of not being loved that we don’t look up to see others.  

Sometimes I feel so alone that I never open my eyes to see that I am constantly in community and there are millions feeling the same way.  What will it take for us to be loved?  Be ourselves!  This week I invite you to open up to your truest self, whatever that means to you. If there is something that you are hiding in fear of judgment, then you are not giving others the opportunity to love all of you, to love you to the core.  I invite you to crack your castle walls and lower your defenses to be seen for who you truly are.  Maybe this means thinning a mask of makeup for a day.  Maybe this means expressing when you are hurt.  Maybe, just maybe, it means telling someone that you love them.  How funny we are in our aim to be loved and yet withhold loving.  It’s up to us to break the cycle.  My invitation to you is to lower your walls and connect more deeply with those around you.  Imagine a community of people truly knowing each other and having such a safe container to love each other in.  Know that the only thing at stake in speaking up is your ego.  Remember that we love you, that you are powerful, that you are perfect.  Thank you for who you are, and for who you aren’t.  

Hi Everyone,

We are coming up for air after so much rain.  Our stove pipe was blown over in the last storm and mud was abundant, for sure!  However, we also love all the rain and the green grass that is covering the farm. The chickens, while wet, are still loving being out and about! The almond and apricot blossoms are over, and the first of the nectarine and early peach blossoms are still on the trees though not as full as they first were. The apple and Italian plum blossoms are full and sweet smelling.  I love this time of year.  The promise of those blossoms have me remembering all of the fruit that follows and the bees are more evident. 

Today, as about this same time last year, a group of students from UC Berkeley are here visiting the farm, cleaning out pens and helping make the family meal. They love it here, and are so grateful for the experience that is adding something precious to their educational experience. The farm crew loves all the visitors that start showing up once rainy season is past and the sun is out.